One year checkup

On Sophia's first visit to the pediatrician, I was still sore from the C-section, still on maternity leave and still so very new to parenting.

Today, I could carry Sophia into the office myself, had to return to work after her appointment and have a pretty good hang of this parenting thing.

I remember during Sophia's very first visit talking with a mom in the waiting room. She was there for her daughter's one year well check. The mom commented on Sophia, who was sleeping away in the infant carrier, and how she remembered her daughter's newborn days.

I looked at her daughter walking around the room thinking age 1 and walking seemed so far away.

But it wasn't.

Her checkup today revealed she's still as happy and healthy as the day she was born.

Sophia's stats at 1 year old: 29 inches long and 21.13 pounds. Her birth stats: 20 inches and 8 pound, 1 ounce.

And she's doing a lot more since those first days which were mainly sleep, eat and poop. She's pointing, standing, still thinking about walking, talking, giggling, smiling and loving us in every way.

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to our sweet Sophia.

I'm so glad we took this week off to spend with you in celebration of your birthday. We've done a little something special with each day this week: the zoo with Grandma and Grandpa on Saturday, shopping with your birthday money Sunday, the airport to pick up Grandpa on Monday, the library on Tuesday and today we continued the fun at the Glazer Children's Museum in Tampa.

The museum had plenty of play areas including a pretend grocery store, garden, port and vet clinic and you loved it all. You pushed the tugboats in the water while wearing an oversized yellow raincoat. You played in the garden with potatoes, carrots and lettuce, which you desperately wanted to eat.

At the vet clinic, you enjoyed the stethoscope and stuffed animals. We did a little pretend grocery shopping and pushed you around in the tot sized cart, and you played with building blocks and toy cars at the engineer shop.

You did it all and enjoyed it all.

Later in the afternoon we helped you open presents.

You were not too interested in your presents but very much interested in cake. When we sang Happy Birthday to you, you smiled at us as though you knew it was your special day that included cake.

You were dainty about tasting your cake at first, taking icing off of it one finger at a time. But eventually you were grabbing clumps of icing and then it was time to take a break and then a bath.

A letter to Sophia

Dear Sophia,

Just a year ago, I met you for the first time but sometimes I feel like I've known you my whole life.

I worried often before you were born about having all the answers when it came to caring for you. But from the moment I first held you I felt instantly calmed that I would be good at this. When they put you on my chest after cleaning and dressing you, you were of course crying.

I talked to you softly. "Don't cry my Sophia, mommy's here." After some time of hearing me talk you calmed down and looked at me so sweetly. The way you looked at me was so comforting and reassured me that I would be good at this.

Every day I give it my all to be a great mom to you, and I always will. To you I am perfect just like you are perfect to me. Whether I'm dancing, singing, reading or making up silly games you enjoy all of it.

There's so much Daddy and I have enjoyed over this first year with you.

We loved staring at you as you slept so peacefully in the bassinet those first days you spent next to our bed. We were in awe of you and the fact that you are ours. We still can't believe how very lucky we are to have such a beautiful and perfect daughter.

We've loved those late night feedings even though we were so very, very tired. It was just more time to spend with you.

And as much as we like it that you have always slept so well at night and for naps because it gave us a chance to rest or take time for ourselves, we can't wait until you wake up so we can't hold you and play with you all over again.

Hearing you wake up in the morning is by far one of our favorite parts of the day. There's a rustling of the blankets from you moving all around your crib and after some time you begin talking away with your incredibly cute baby babble. And the moment you first see us enter your room, you always, always greet us with a big smile. It makes our day to have such a happy little girl.

We love taking you on adventures but you seem to love it even more. When we walk out the door with you, you giggle and smile like you know we're going somewhere as a family together.

And we've done lots of things and gone lots of places in just one year.

You've been to the park, the pool, the beach, the aquarium, the zoo, the art museum, the children's museum, the botanical gardens, baseball games (both Mets and Yankees), the pumpkin patch, grandma and grandpa's house, the library, mommy and daddy's work, birthday parties, restaurants, grocery stores and church.

Now that you're 1-year-old, part of me thinks, how did this happen, how did you grow up so fast. Then another part of me thinks you're only 1 and already you know so much.

You're so very smart.

You seem to understand a lot of what we say to you. Especially when we ask you if you want Cheerios or cheese.

And you most definitely know the sounds of a bottle being made. In fact, you know that sound so well that sometimes one of us has to take you into a different room while the other makes the bottle because you tend to freak out a bit.

You say dada, cat, dog (gog), yes, car, good girl, sheep (shap) but not yet mama though I swear you call me Grace sometimes.

It's been an incredibly quick first year with wonderful memories. It is truly bittersweet watching you grow up. Of course we're sad that you are growing out of the baby stage and becoming a toddler. But we are so very excited to see what you will do next, what your interests will be, and what life has in store for you.

Nothing but great things I'm sure.

We love you So.

Love, Mom and Dad

The sweet life

Sophia's first of first birthday celebrations was filled with adventure: a trip to the zoo with us and her grandparents, a couple more first steps, cupcakes and presents.

I think her favorite part was her first cupcake.

We didn't place the cupcake on her high chair tray until after we finished singing Happy Birthday but when we didn't she picked the whole thing up right away.
She doesn't normally do this when she sees a new food on her tray. Most often she seems skeptical of new food. I think this is because of her disgust with the real sweet potatoes and banana we have attempted.

But when she saw the cupcake it was as if she knew it was a special treat that she won't be getting every day. She picked it up and took a small bite from the bottom. We turned it around so she good get a taste of the icing, too, and then after she got a good taste we took it away.

She didn't fuss about us taking it away but as we opened presents she kept looking over at the cupcake as if to say, "one more bite."

We agreed and put it back on her tray. This time she took the biggest bite she could and with wide eyes held the cupcake in her mouth, savoring every moment with that delicious icing and how sweet it is to almost be 1.

Left foot, right foot. Feet, feet, feet.

We've been inpatient parents with the whole first steps thing. Sophia learned to pull herself up at 9 months and ever since we thought surely she'd be walking before her first birthday.

But we waited, and waited, and waited. Until tonight. Ever so wobbly and with her arms extended in the air as if she were reaching for the stars Sophia took her first steps.

We were overwhelmed with joy and so very proud. I shrieked, giggled and had tears in my eyes as I watched her move her right foot forward, then the left foot and right foot again. She took about three steps on three separate tries from me toward the couch to my parents all the while doing raspberries with her mouth.

Anthony and I looked on in awe just like when she was born.

Almost birthday

Sophia's due date was highly anticipated last year. Not so much because we thought she'd be born. Because we were certain she would be born as I had a scheduled C-section on her due date.

Anthony and I arrived at the hospital that morning at 6 a.m. just as the doctor instructed. I was admitted into  a hospital room. I couldn't have been happier to wear a drab hospital gown and lie in a hospital bed to await major surgery.

After monitoring the baby's heart and inserting an IV in my veins, the doctor took a last look at how the baby was positioned. The baby was no longer breach and we were sent home to wait.

I decided not to return to work as I had already put in for my maternity leave. It turned out I had to wait a week for her birth. At the time it seemed like the longest week of my life. I was uncomfortable, tired and very eager to meet my first child. 

I thought Sophia would never be born. Anthony assured me she would. 

A year later, we eagerly await the day Sophia will begin to walk. And no day with Sophia seems too long. 

Oh what a mess

Sometimes, life gets messy.

Parenthood, I know, definitely gets messy. Take for instance tonight.
Sophia gave us little clues of what we were about to find when we took her out of the high chair after dinner. She had her bottle, we had meatball subs.

At the dinner table she happily played peek-a-boo with us by lifting up a portion of the tray and then putting it down. When we were done and ready to clean up I took the dishes to the sink and Anthony went to get Sophia out of the high chair.

"Let's check that diaper, baby girl," he said before lifting her out of the seat.
Oh there'd be no need to check. There it was coming out of the left side of her diaper and on the side of her leg.
"Oh my," I said.
"What? What is it," Anthony asked.
Look at her leg.
"Oh gosh," Anthony replied.
Straight to the bathtub it was.
Anthony put her in the tub to undress her before even starting the water. I followed to help and he brought in the diaper genie to dispose of the mess.
Then I looked at his arm.

"Anthony! There's poop on your arm. You need to take a shower."
He asked, "are you sure." He meant well of it, meaning he wanted to help me.
But I could handle it.
"No I'm sure."
I finished cleaning up Sophia's bottom before running the bath and then started the water. After the bath when she was all clean and dressed I proceeded to check the rest of the house to be sure there was nothing.
The only tracing of it was in her high chair. That was then hosed down, disinfected and cleaned.

Yikes!

Now, I know this is a gross story to share. Believe me, I don't like to be "that mom" who has to discuss her child's bathroom activity. But throughout all that mess and disruption, Sophia didn't get cry, didn't cranky, didn't make a fuss.

She just went with the flow and just continued to enjoy our company with her even though it was in a cold bathtub wiping loads of you-know-what off her bottom and leg. We as parents are meant to teach her lessons. But she taught me a lesson tonight.

She reminded me that there's not much you can do when life gets messy. But you can't let a little mess spoil your fun.

Yes!

Sophia is a thumb sucker. She loved sucking the thumb long before we took the pacifier away and we were okay with that. It remained a convenient way to comfort herself mostly at bedtime and it never interrupted her willingness to make all sorts of baby noises and chatter.

In recent weeks, however, she began asking for things such as more food, a new activity or another song before bedtime by keeping the thumb in her mouth and going: hmmm. hmmm. hmmm.

My husband and I decided we needed to break the habit early. We want her to get used to the idea early that she needs to tell us what she needs. Now of course we realize she only has a few simple words that she knows and can't form sentences yet but it's all about forming good habits now.

So when she started doing this hmmmm noise with her thumb in the mouth — mostly for more food — we began saying to her, "tell us what you'd like Sophia. Would you like more Cheerios (etc.)? Yes?"

One day, shortly before New Year's Eve, she repeated yes when we asked her. It started out as a "shesh." But now she says yes fairly clearly when we ask her if she would like more food, to get out of the high chair, another song before bedtime.

It's a small start to her communicating with us, and we're glad we're not hearing the word no just yet.

No work, all crafts

Created with wooden letters, scrapbook paper and Mod Podge.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Acrylic on canvas.

During a recent five-day vacation I vowed to make the most of it by spending quality time with Sophia and getting long-awaited chores crossed off the list. This was my longest time off of work since my maternity leave and I certainly did enjoy the time with Sophia.

We went on an outing to the library, which consisted of her pulling as many board books out of the library cart as possible.

We had a day at the park with lunch, time on the swing and fun touching and trying to taste all the woodchips. And I did several crafts. Mostly she watched but I made her feel involved by letting her touch some other safe supply crafts like foam paper and construction paper.

I had been wanting to make Sophia something special for her birthday. For a while I pondered what I could do and I came up with the idea to do a decorative piece for her room that she could still appreciate when she got older.

I decided decorating some wooden letters that spell her name would be easy and fun. I set out to Michaels on Saturday with my 25 percent off my entire purchase coupon with that idea in mind. After picking up the supplies I needed I spotted a 48- by 24-inch stretch canvas against the wall. I thought it seemed perfect to do a large painting of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. I have dabbled with oil and acrylic paints and thought a painting of the famous Eric Carle caterpillar would be somewhat simple as his style is to broad, collage-like paint strokes. I thought about it for some time and explored the paint colors, too.

Finally, I thought the idea was silly and that the painting wouldn't come out so great.
So I went home content with my Mod Podge project.

I got a good start on the project that Saturday and continued it Sunday morning. Later Sunday when I browsed the sales ads, the same large canvas I had looked at was on sale for 50 percent off.
Anthony convinced me to give it a try. So back to Michaels I went to buy the canvas. I came home put on some music and got to painting and was surprisingly pleased with the result.

Sophia does seem to notice it on the wall since we've hung it in her playroom area. It's my first birthday present of sorts for her. It's one of the books we read most to her and I book I always enjoyed as a child. To top off the painting I wrote a message on the back.

It says: To my growing Sophia on her first birthday. Love, Mom.
I plan to let her discover that message on her own when she's older.

Perhaps, she'll find it if she ever asks for the painting to hang in her own room, or maybe not until she takes the painting with her when she moves on her own.

A prologue of sorts

After at least 12 hours of labor, the hospital staff confirmed to me the original plan for having this baby: a cesarean delivery.

I was scheduled for a C-section seven days before being induced on Jan. 18, but that was cancelled because the baby was no longer breech. After a smooth pregnancy many things became complicated in labor: the epidurals (yes plural) didn't last, I had terrible back labor, I ran a fever and the baby's heart rate got too high.

The doctor stepped outside into the hallway and conferred with a staff of nurses who returned with blue scrubs and a doctor’s mask for Anthony. 

I was terrified about the operation and if Anthony was he never showed it. In fact, he was giddy. Giddy about becoming a dad of course but also about his new getup. Dressed in the scrubs and hospital mask, Anthony looked at himself in the mirror as though to say the next time I look in the mirror I’ll be a dad, but right now I’m Dr. Gagliano.

They wheeled me into the operating room and asked Anthony to wait in the hallway while they prepared everything, and suddenly I got nauseous.

“I feel sick, I feel sick,” I kept repeating to the team that obviously wants to quickly numb me up and get on with this.

The nurse got me a container and immediately I began to vomit. They never said it was an emergency C-section but I sensed there was an urgency to get the baby out when the anesthesiologist said he needed to get the medicine going as soon as possible.

Quickly, I was given another shot in the back. I lied down again nervous about the operation. In fact, I even remember asking: “How do you know I won’t feel the doctor cutting me open."

They explained there was no need to worry, and brought in Anthony.

 Anthony sits next to me, holds my hand and the procedure starts.

We are eager and excited to meet our baby, and feel oddly strange knowing that the miracle of life is unfolding just beyond that big, blue curtain. In just a  few moments we’d be parents, not to mention we'd know if we have a son or daughter. 

The doctors are we aware that we didn't know the gender and give us a play by play of the process as it unfolded behind the curtain.

“Wow, this baby is going to need a hair cut,” says Dr. McCullen.

Instantly, tears form in our eyes as we know our baby (apparently with a full head of hair) is about to be born.

And the doctor proceeds with, “We’ve got a head, we’ve got shoulders … we have a baby girl!”

We were elated. Anthony immediately stood up to see his daughter, disobeying everything they told the fathers in childbirth classes, which was “Fathers whatever you do do not look behind that curtain because anything and everything is behind that curtain.”

Anthony was in awe ,and I remember him saying, “Oh my goodness.” 

And now I’m lying there, helpless, as everyone oohs and aahs over her.

“I can’t see my baby, I can’t see her,” I say.

Finally, they hold her up over the curtain, and there’s my Sophia Debra.

Her perfectly, round face is beat read, her mouth is wide open as she wails away, and like the doctors remarked she has a full head of hair — dark hair. She’s perfect and she’s ours. I watch as they clean her up to my right on the table. They check her vitals, weigh and measure her, and swaddle her. They bring her over to me and put her on my chest and I’m in love.

She’s crying still and so am I. In this moment, and still today, nearly a year later she is the most beautiful and amazing part of my life.

Everything people say about parenthood is so true. That you’ll never feel a bond as strong as the one that comes with being a parent, that you want better opportunities for your child than you had, and most especially that it goes by so fast. Since the day she was born until now everyone — doctors, family, strangers in the supermarket, neighbors— says enjoy every moment it happens so fast.

A neighbor put it almost perfectly when he said: You blink and they're grown up. She's only about to be 1, far from grown up, but overnight it seems she went from newborn to toddler.

Anthony and I certainly have treasured every moment of this wonderful journey. And when we update her baby book it puts into perspective how quickly the time has passed. Sophia is 11 months now, has six teeth and says several words: dada, cat, cup, yes. And pretty soon she will be walking on her own.  

She’s grown so fast, and yes we are a little sad she’s no longer a tiny newborn that we could swaddle and hold for hours. But we are enjoying every new milestone and this blog will be our way to slow down time for just a bit and document the details of our life as a family of three.